The Night Before (after kids are asleep)
8:30 p.m. For a ready-to-eat breakfast, I prep some local, sun-kissed overnight oats with organic guava and pomegranate in mason jars. For the baby, I purée a 9-ingredient smoothie and pipe it into a reusable non-BPA baby pouch.
8:55 p.m. I prepare the children’s lunches, which must be nut-free, gluten-free, dairy-free, black-bean free, packaged in non-plastic Bento containers, contain 3 servings of veggies, and be shelf-stable. I heard there is a child at school who once had anaphylaxis to airborne strawberry particles, so we avoid anything with strawberry cross-contamination that could potentially aerosolize down the hallway. Hydration is also essential for active children, so I pour chilled cucumber-essenced water into each child’s 48 ounce monogrammed Hydroflask.
9:25 p.m. Lights out (binge watch Harry and Meghan until midnight)
The Morning Of
5:17 a.m. My alarm bleeps. I promptly hit snooze, which allows me 4 minutes of additional sleep, because sleep truly is essential for well-being.
5:21 a.m. Now well-rested, I feel prepared to tackle the before-school morning routine. I dress myself in workout clothes and a mom bun to make myself feel better for not working out by at least appearing like I might plan to.
5:35 a.m. I go nurse the baby and put him back for a little more sleep in his designer acacia crib, which is equipped with AI-technology and a pulse oximeter just like the one at the local children’s hospital to give us reassurance that he’s breathing all night long.
6:15 a.m. Time for the older two children to wake up. I gently massage their little backs and waft some essential oils that promote wakefulness into their rooms. While they are still half-asleep, I dress their rag doll bodies into the adorable outfits I’d like for them to wear before they change into the same Elsa dress and sports clothes that they wore the first 3 days of school this week.
6:45 a.m. We run into a bit of a snafu when we can’t find my 4 year old’s favorite socks that aren’t too big or too small and don’t have any seams and are still perfectly white with no stains. But alas, we persist and after a few minutes of forced mindfulness, we are back on track once I locate her second favorite pair.
7:15 a.m. I send my older two to the breakfast table to eat while I get the baby up and dressed.
7:25 a.m. When I arrive at breakfast, the oatmeal mason jars are empty, being licked clean by our small, food-motivated rescue dog, while the older two make paper airplanes and launch them over my head. While the baby enjoys his artisan smoothie pouch, I scarf down some hydrogenated peanut butter spread from the jar along with a few Red Bulls. While I turn my back for 17 seconds to make some coffee, the baby squeezes half the smoothie into his lap, so I go change him and toss the dirty onesie on the top of my Jenga laundry tower, praying it won’t topple.
7:35 a.m. It’s now time for the kids to start putting on shoes, a process that generally requires at least 15 to 20 minutes. Because multitasking is key to morning success, while my kids work on putting two matching shoes on the correct feet, I slather them in non-nano, reef-safe mineral sunscreen. I stuff their lunch boxes and water bottles into their 40 pound backpacks. I include a separate bag with a winter coat and rain boots so the teachers won’t think I’m a neglectful parent in case it gets cold or rains. In the baby’s bag, I place the blanket and stuffed animal that I wash every day since daycare insists they are unsanitary after each nap.
7:59 a.m. We head to the car and I strap my children into their car seats. I’m feeling relieved because my 6 year old, who is tracking at the 90th percentile in height, has recently learned how to buckle his own 5-point harness car seat. His car seat features the latest technology available for up to 15 years old, featuring an adjustable backing that will accommodate his adolescent growth spurt.
Because my husband is traveling for work, the dog can’t be left alone because of his debilitating separation anxiety, so he comes along in the car too. I fortunately remember my 6 year old’s guitar since it’s guitar lesson day. Thankfully, my hybrid SUV with sliding doors (no, it’s NOT a minivan) was designed to fit my family and all of their personal items while still maintaining a highly fashionable aesthetic.
8:05 a.m. I realize I forgot my coffee so I run back into the house for a moment and pour it into a reuseable Big Gulp travel mug, hoping a neighbor won’t notice the children left unattended in the car for that minute and call the police on me.
8:07 a.m. Drive to school
8:14 a.m. We arrive in the drop off line one minute before the school bell rings. My dog barks ferociously at the poor teacher who lets the older 2 out of the car. They need to take a few trips to get all of their items into the building.
8:27 a.m. I drop the baby at daycare without shoes (15-20 minutes was only enough time to get shoes on the older two). Daycare reluctantly accepts him. Our before school routine is now complete.
As you can see, it is possible to operationalize your family’s morning routine for efficiency and ease. I am now ready to conquer my work day while simultaneously decompressing (#selfcare) and mentally preparing for the children’s dinner and bedtime.
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